Five fears of writing:
Things that go bump in the classroom
by Kathy Baxter, with Todd Shallat
I was sick--sick unto death with that long agony; and when my instructor at length returned the paper, and I was permitted to see the mark of his judgement, I felt my senses were leaving me. The sentences--the dread sentences of my composition--were no longer distinct but masked in brutal red. I saw; but with how terrible an exaggeration! I saw the lips of that tweed-coated judge. They appeared to me white--whiter than the sheet upon which I had traced my words--and thin even to grotesqueness; thin with the terrible intensity of their expression of firmness--of immovable resolution--of stern contempt for my paper.-- with apologies to Edgar Allan Poe's "The Pit and the Pendulum"
Who hasn't experienced this torture? From creative paralysis to post-traumatic composition syndrome, the fear of writing can cripple professors and students alike. "Writing is easy," explains author Gene Fowler. "All you do is stare at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead." Hating to feel inept, we'd rather spill the blood than set a less-than-brilliant word to paper.
In the spring of 1996, I took Todd Shallat's HY210 class assailed with the usual trepidations; after all, he used a two-pound syllabus and required a lengthy research paper. However, his approach to writing was so compatible with my experience as a writing assistant for BSU's Writing Center, I decided to do a writing internship with his HY358 Gilded Age course last semester. We worked out an arrangement connected with The Write Project, which the Writing Center was piloting in Fall 1996.
We figured three hours in one sitting with this diverse, frenetic class -- graduate-school- bound history majors, all kinds of other majors, non-traditional students, and about half the football team's offensive line -- did not lend itself to the security of a textbook/lecture format. We wanted to give the students an active course where their reading, research, and discussion all contributed to their writing. And our own writing terrors led us to design the class to help students face their most primal fears.
Fear of the professor
No matter how accessible instructors make themselves, they have power and students know it. A writing assistant, who functions like a priest between God and man, can help students stop quaking in their Birkenstocks by acting as a peer-liaison. I participated in the class and became personally known to students, helping them make connections from the classroom to their written work. Todd encouraged a collaborative atmosphere with small group discussions responding to field trips, film clips, reading selections, political cartoons, or the short background lectures. Students weren't so intimidated by Todd or the writing assignments when they realized we both planned to help them through the entire process.
Fear of the Writing Center
Unfortunately, students and professors often view the Writing Center as a remedial last resort for the grammar-impaired. Or they might think of it as a gathering of critics, or nothing more than a place to have papers edited and proofread. As a writing assistant in the Gilded Age class, I was able to give the Writing Center a human face for the students. I was able to describe its staff and ambiance -- turquoise Herculon couch and all -- and show how Writing Assistants work with students through every phase of the writing process. Todd explained that some aspects of writing are better accomplished cooperatively, and that he uses the Writing Center himself. By treating this resource as a natural part of everyone's writing process, we brought it out from under the bed and encouraged students to use it.
Fear of grades
Student bane and instructor quandary, grades make writing scary indeed. We tried to mitigate the frightening impact of grades on student writing by beginning the semester with three ungraded response papers to engage students with the three required books. I tried to evaluate and suggest, rather than critique their writing, thus providing a safer audience and -- hopefully -- encouraging freedom of thought. On graded assignments, students had the opportunity to revise from both Todd's and my remarks before turning papers in. Their final grade was based on a twenty-page portfolio of work which could include nongraded or graded assignments, in-class writing, or their Victorian/modern artifact comparison -- whatever they felt reflected their best effort. While exams might provide a more objective response to student work, we found that the writing experiences we provided helped students fight the grading specter.
Fear of starting
Beginning to write can be a daunting prospect. No matter how many times students do it, they may still experience the fight-or-flight response: either battle with the reasonableness of the assignment or head for the Greenbelt instead of the library. In The Dead Poets Society, Dr. Keating badgered his students out of the fear that kept them from starting. We didn't exactly badger, but we did give weekly assignments and classwork involving writing. And we broke the process down into steps, beginning with a trip to the library. Todd provided some research short-cuts and a hands-on refresher in the microfiche room. Students worked in small groups on material they shared with the class and incorporated into their writing projects. They had a choice of subjects to write about, which gave them more ownership and interest. We helped them brainstorm their historical narratives and biographies by using story proposal sheets. They turned in three sheets for each paper, including a title, primary and secondary sources, and a 250-word abstract. We gave them verbal and written feedback on each of these. Knowing they would revise their drafts, they had an easier time getting started, since it wasn't such a make-or-break situation. We used several shorter assignments, but students could see how the same steps might be applied to frighteningly longer research projects.
Fear of self
Students often feel they either have the gift of writing or they don't. At the recent Rocky Mountain Peer Tutoring Conference, Dr. Susan Swetnam of ISU addressed the fear of no talent by defining writing as a craft rather than a gift. She encourages students to learn the trade's tools instead of waiting for a visit from the Muse. In HY358, we spent class time equipping students not only to study history, but also to write more effectively. And, since publishing validates writing, we published a magazine focused on the year 1896 to authenticate the students' work. They each chose an editorial group -- national, foreign, city desk, business and labor, family life,sports, culture and entertainment -- and researched their biographies and historical narratives in these areas. The groups brainstormed which story proposals to develop, decided which pieces to revise for the magazine, and found advertisements, photographs, and political cartoons to illustrate them. Todd and I helped students sift ideas, focus, rewrite, and edit, while art student Denise Fitelson-Nelis helped them with the layout, design and production. The result was The Gilded Gazette, a handsome, illustrated collection of the students' essays on everything from bicycles and hats to gunfights and labor fights; from elevated trains and department stores to boxing and settlement houses; from Moses Alexander and Li Hung Chang to Jane Addams and Carrie Nation. The magazine gave their work a professional context and format, and showed students they weren't gravely ungifted.
Student response
The Gilded Age class was different enough to give many students a Poe-like pause at the beginning of the semester, but we worked to make the challenge fun and interesting. They told us they liked the nongraded assignments, the choice in subjects to write about, and the interaction with both Todd and me. On the class evaluation, one student commented, "I enjoyed working with him. He seemed eager to provide his own time to help improve my writing skills." Another student wrote, "Kathy could answer questions when Todd was tied up with others. She understood how things should be done and could relay them to me." Students also liked getting the details about the period from satire, essays, historical epics, documentaries, and first-hand accounts because it gave them a vivid sense to write from. While some were initially frustrated with the writing requirements, they found that they addressed things in their writing they had never addressed before. Most of all, The Gilded Gazette gave them a strong feeling of accomplishment.Judy Coffey was a first-semester, non-traditional, returning student who thought the class sounded interesting, but who had been out of school long enough for the research and writing to cause her great fear and trembling. We enjoyed watching her develop skill and confidence. The following paragraph is from an early draft of her Carrie Nation biography.
Carrie Nation believed herself to be the confidant of the Lord and to possess a thorough knowledge of his plans and purposes. Her mother, grandmother, uncle and aunt were mad. Her mother was committed to an insane asylum. Some felt Carrie had inherited the same insanity. At night, she would have visions where she talked with Jesus and during the day signs and portents confronted her often. She was convinced the Lord had chosen her to be a martyr to the cause of prohibitory encactments, not only against liquor and the saloons, but anything else she considered as sinful. The fraternal lodge was an enemy because women were not allowed to enter them and men used the lodge as a refuge where they could indulge their appetite for alcohol respectably.The next paragraph is her revision for the The Gilded Gazette.
Carrie Nation believed herself to be the confidant of the Lord and to possess a thorough knowledge of his plans and purposes. Carrie was almost six feet tall and stalwart, weighing about 175 pounds in her hatcheting years. She was "no homelier than the ordinary run of women," and wore layers and layers of long black skirts capable of concealing any sort of weapon and they often did. Still, people said that Carrie had the appearance of a motherly type. Some felt Carrie had inherited the insanity which had afflicted her mother, grandmother, aunt and uncle. Carrie's hatred of demon rum stemmed from the early death of her first husband from alcoholism.Nothing to fear. . .
Writing, although fearsome, is a process of learning to face what scares us most. Our collaboration helped students learn to deal with the terror of it all (not as great as they thought), and showed us a thing or two about our own limits (a bit greater than we thought). Writing assistants are available to work with classes through The Write Project and internships. As Richard Rhodes says, "Silence is pain that writing relieves. Our uniqueness separates us. Writing, we make our way out of our isolation onto the commons we share."
Or as Nike says, "Just do it."
Kathy Baxter, a frightened English major and Northwest Inland Writing Project Consultant, has written for The Arbiter and The Turquoise Couch, BSU Writing Center's literary magazine.Professor Todd Shallat, a terrified writer, is the winner of the Henry Adams award for his recent history of river engineering, Structures in the Stream.