Eurydice & all my worst fears

Lyd Havens is a junior Creative Writing major and History minor originally from Tucson, Arizona. They have been writing poetry since they were twelve, and just started writing fiction again after over ten years of only writing poetry and nonfiction. They believe that writing is one of the most important skills a person can learn, though the learning never truly ends. After graduating, Lyd will hopefully go on to an MFA program, teach creative writing at a college level, write at least one poetry collection, and try their hand at writing a novel. Outside of Boise State, they help run the Boise Poetry Slam, read, cook, and embroider.

Eurydice & all my worst fears

When they look for me all they will find 

is a white gown blanketing the grass. 

They’ll check every petticoat. They’ll stand

in the river and ask whether it responded

to the invitation. It’s theorized that Jane Does

found with missing limbs had identifiable scars

 

or tattoos. You’ll have to take both my arms,

then. You’ll have to pluck every acne scar 

off my back like headstrong weeds. I go 

to the same coffee shop every morning.

My mother calls me every other night.
I am a creature of habit who will be searched for.

Write that down. Remember it. Gone 

 

can be such a soft word; I fear it all the same.

I’ve always planned on walking

myself down the aisle—a thin dress

shadowing my knees, bare feet and loose hair.

I cherish the heat of solitude. When I sing,

my words blur together. I’m not sure 

 

I’ve ever charmed anybody. My nightmares 

have never been about snakes: they’re about

being gone, and watching everyone I love 

collect bouquets of question marks as time 

stretches its skin in front of all of us.