Jessica Ayers, an assistant professor in psychology, was recently quoted in a New York Times article about adult friendships and how difficult they can be to establish. Jancee Dunn, the article’s author, spoke to both Ayers and Sheila Liming, an associate professor of writing at Champlain College, to share a guide to creating adult friendships.
“Often, we don’t think something is beneficial unless it’s productive,” Ayers explained to Dunn when describing how adults are used to scheduling activities with each other. “We don’t always realize that sitting around and resting with someone is still a productive state, and worthy of our time.”
Ayers offers several tips for adults to make it easier to establish new friendships like doing activities that are comfortable, keeping meet-ups short, acknowledging the awkward moments and making rituals.
“Remind yourself that this person is not hanging out with you because they don’t have anything else to do. No. This person wants to be around you,” she said.