It happens to the best of us. You’re going about your day, driving home from work, thinking about your ex and/or refilling your kid’s asthma inhaler prescription. Then something, somewhere, goes wrong – nuclear fallout, an accident at the chemical plant, magic, whatever. Suddenly the Living Dead are rising from the grave and they’re hungry for brains. Mondays, am I right?
What To Expect
It can be difficult to predict the exact size and nature of a zombie outbreak because it’s increasingly difficult to define what qualifies as a “zombie.” The original ‘zonbi‘ is a development of West African spiritual traditions, originating in Haiti back in the 1800s. Since the 1960s, the traditional zombie is a decaying corpse shuffling along in search of brains, reanimating due to nuclear radiation. Today, modern and avant-garde zombies are typically a result of viral infection, and they might shamble like traditional ghouls or run like Olympic sprinters in their hunt for general carnage. Real-world sightings of zombies are rare – nonexistent, in fact! – so any real-world expectations and plans should be adapted accordingly in the event of a true zombie outbreak.
Until that time, you can prepare for a zombie outbreak as you would for any natural disaster: learn about the problem, reflect on how ready you are (or aren’t) for the event, and then take steps to build up your resilience. Resilience refers to a person’s ability to adapt to new challenges; this trait can be a result of prior experience, planning ahead, or simple flexibility and ability to function under pressure. Wherever you are now, there’s always a chance to prepare and build up your resilience in the face of a crisis.
Resilience as an idea can also be applied to communities; a more resilient community is better prepared to face, weather, and recover from disaster. Community Resilience refers to the capacity of a community or region to adapt to change and thrive despite the chronic stresses (access to resources, climate change) and acute shocks (flooding, wildfire, pandemic) they may experience (GRCN). Promoting community resilience requires collaboration across many levels of society and professional disciplines. The HCRI provides a platform to connect researchers, students, and community partners to collaboratively address community resilience research and practical needs.
So if you’re worried about a zombie outbreak – or any disaster that could strike your community – this is a good place to start.
Back to the zombies!
Worst-Case Scenario
Since the modern zombie is analogous to disease, a major zombie outbreak could produce conditions similar to an uncontrolled pandemic. This means that food supplies, medical services, power grids and more could be disrupted. Based on popular depictions, zombies could also present an immediate risk to your personal wellbeing.
How To Prepare
How To Prepare
Preparing for a zombie outbreak is a two-fold process. First, you will want to have a plan in case of a personal encounter with the undead. It’s possible this encounter could occur at any time, without warning. Second, you will want to be ready for the impact on your day-to-day life. Preparations for this impact are best made in advance, as regular business hours for grocery stores may be affected by the rise of the undead.
Fortunately, there are ways to anticipate what you will need, and you can adapt accordingly.
If You Encounter One or More Zombies…
Run Away: The general assumption is that zombies are neither fast nor agile, since zombies are typically made of rotting flesh. Use your virile human legs to your advantage and keep a safe distance!
Seek Shelter: Different sources suggest varying degrees of dexterity for the average zombie. But most sources suggest that zombies are slow, clumsy, and none too bright. As such, a typical locked door is likely enough to deter attack. Alternately, entering a vehicle and locking the doors should suffice until help arrives – or you can simply drive away.
Wear Layers: The bite of a living human is surprisingly strong, but most modern clothes are stronger. If you expect to be near zombies, where heavy clothes like denim, leather, or kevlar if you have it. Alternately, several layers of cotton or polyester can keep zombie teeth from reaching or breaking the skin. Duct tape is also an option to consider.
If you are brave/foolhardy/bored enough to fight a zombie directly, use a shovel. The long, sturdy handle and broad, metal scoop will allow you to attack without putting your soft living tissues near the zombie’s mouth. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO KNIFE FIGHT WITH A ZOMBIE. Even if you survive, cleaning the gore out of your clothes will be a nightmare. Use any long-handled implement available; if not a shovel, you could use a rake, a push broom, a pool skimmer, or similar tool.
If you choose to use guns to put zombies back in the ground, be mindful of all local laws regarding firearm ownership and usage. Be VERY sure that what you are aiming at is an actual zombie, and not your hungover roommate tripping through the bushes. (Sorry Dave!) When you run out of ammunition, and the Undead continues to be Not Dead, refer to the advice on Running Away.
If You Think Your Community is at Risk of a Zombie Outbreak (Or any disaster)…
Check to see if your home is in or near a hazard zone. For a zombie outbreak, this could mean being close to a cemetery. The typical human body decomposes after a few months, but if any corpses claw up out of the ground, you’ll want to know how long before they reach your front door. Other points of interest could be hospitals, funeral homes, or movie studios.
Coordinate and collaborate with your neighbors. Whoever lives closest to you is likely going to be your greatest asset in a survival situation. Make nice with them now so you can all weather whatever storms are coming your way. Besides, you’re much less likely to get eaten by zombies if Darryl up the street will open his door for you before the horde catches up.
Have an evacuation plan ready. Zombies are slow but emergency declarations can be fast. If you need to get out of town in a hurry, be ready. The HCRI has General Preparedness Guides to help you get ready and stay ready.
Stock up on supplies. If it’s safer to shelter in place, you’ll want enough food, water, fuel, and other essentials to hold you over until the situation improves, outside help can reach you, or you can arrange an escape. At a minimum, you want 72 hours of supplies. Remember: supplies are not there to save you – they are to buy you time.
Be ready for another crisis to strike. While highly unlikely, it’s possible that another local hazard will intersect with a zombie outbreak. Consult the HCRI Local Resources & Hazards Page to learn about potential hazards in your area and how best you can prepare for them. These events could include wildfires, floods, earthquakes, extreme weather, and more.
The frequency of zombie outbreaks are not impacted by climate change. However, high temperatures can speed up the decomposition of dead bodies – reanimated or otherwise. In a warmer climate, zombie outbreaks should be relatively shorter. Silver linings!
Written by Caleb Tidwell, with bemused support from Brittany Brand and Carson MacPherson-Krutsky.
